Don't you think it's time to live on your own? It's different from being annoying or selfish, right?

If you live on your own axis, won't you cause trouble?

There is a lot of information out there that might make people think I am selfish, so I will write this as a column, taking into consideration what will happen in the future.

table of contents

What is your own axis?

If I were to describe it in one word, I would say it's a way of life that values oneself.

Specifically, I think it's important to focus on ``what I think'' without being influenced by other people's evaluations or thoughts.

Is self-centeredness a nuisance?

Some people seem to think that if you respect what you think, you will cause trouble for others, but I think that is what it means to be other-oriented.

・I want to eat A

・Everyone says it's B.

In such cases, forcing or persuading others to do A because they are A may be selfish or self-indulgent.

However, is it bad to insist that ``Everyone says B, but I want to eat A?''

Some people may agree with you and say, ``You said it was B, but I really want to eat A, too.''

It is often said that being self-centered is annoying, selfish, or selfish, but people who live their lives properly are self-centered.

・I have my own opinions and ideas

・Do not impose on others

Because there is such a part, it is different from annoying, selfish, selfish, etc.

If anything, people who live their lives based on others are the ones who don't have their own ideas.

"Everyone says it's B, so it should be B."

Don't you tend to be annoying, selfish, and self-indulgent?

Everyone is saying B, so read the atmosphere!

What if you don't have your own axis?

If you live your life only respecting the evaluations of others and the opinions of those around you, you will feel tired.

Being influenced by others without expressing what you want to do is often mistakenly thought to be cooperative, but what if the other person is the type who wants to respect each other's opinions?

I want to eat A

"What about you?"

In such cases, people who don't have a strong point of view will answer, "I'm fine with an A, too."

This is a partner such as a boyfriend or girlfriend.

want to please the other person

I want to respect the other person's opinion

If you felt that way and asked the question,

I asked you what you wanted because I wanted to see your happy smile.

It would be similar to being told, "Anything is fine."

Depending on how you look at it, the reason why he doesn't even try to make a point even though he wants to make you happy is because

"I don't think or do anything, just imagine you doing your best."

I might be happy if I get it right

If that happens, wouldn't it be inevitable to be seen as a nuisance, selfish, or selfish?

I'm not happy. Just imagine!

The opposite of the self axis is the other person axis

I think you know, but I'll explain briefly.

some kind of action or enjoyment

Self-centered: Focus on whether you have fun and what you want to do.

Others-oriented: Focus on being evaluated and respectability

To explain a little bit, I think that until a while ago (Showa?) it was more necessary to focus on others.

I went to a good school, joined a good company, and was liked.

That was the value

People played golf for fun because they had a high status, and it was respected, and having expensive things was considered valuable.

This is true of the generation that experienced the bubble.

Sharing is the norm now

There are many generations who don't even own a car, let alone have a driver's license, and maintenance costs are a waste, so sharing is becoming more common and various services are popping up one after another.

This applies not only to cars but also to furniture, and if you think about it, even with subscriptions, until a while ago I owned media such as CDs and DVDs, but now they are on the server and I don't have them at hand.

Even when it comes to enjoyment, self-centered people who respect whether or not they are having fun enjoy life.

People who respect “how they are evaluated” suffer.

In a sense, it's obvious, but I'll force myself to do what I want to do.

There are signs that you are having trouble doing something that you don't particularly want to do.

Would people say it was amazing if I carried it on my back?

goals etc.

Self-centered: I have my own goals, such as I was able to get this far in the past, so I will try this next time.

Other-oriented: Comparing yourself to someone else and worrying about how you will be evaluated, such as surpassing someone else, and set a goal.

For example, let's say a self-centered person tries to play the piano.

I was happy to be able to play a simple song yesterday, so next time I'll try something a little more difficult.

there are no others there

It's all about whether you're having fun or not.

If you are someone else's oriented person, even if you try hard to master a simple song,

People might laugh at me for being happy to be able to play at this level.

What would they say if I tried something difficult and failed?

There are　only　“other people”

It doesn't matter to me, it only matters what other people think of me.

Am I wrong?

Many people may think that this is someone else's problem, but there are many people who suffer from the misunderstanding of the term "mysterious cooperativeness."

If I don't get enough likes, I might get laughed at, so I won't even challenge it in the first place.

People might think you're weird if you do it when no one else is doing it.

If you express an opinion that differs from everyone else, you may be attacked.

As a result, they live a difficult life, trying to accommodate others without enjoying anything.

Maybe unique to Japan

I think education also has a part to do with it.

Students who are the same as everyone else are those who do well, and those who don't are like delinquents.

In Japan, when there is a question like ``What is the author's intention?'' in Japanese class, there is usually a certain answer.

In America and elsewhere, every individual's opinion is correct.

In the first place, unless you ask the author what the author's intentions are, it's just your personal opinion.

Unlike mathematics, I think that in Japanese the answers are correct except for spelling mistakes, but I think I am studying to suppress what I think.

This is because if the answer is different from what you think, it will be a mistake and your grade will drop.

I'm glad that I've refuted the argument armed with theory, but there are many people who simply say, "So, what do you want to do?" or "Tell me about your experience," and then remain silent.

Knowledge and experience are worlds apart

Nowadays, I think we are losing opportunities to experience things by relying on others or looking things up on the internet and trying to figure it out on our own.

I think there are environments where the internet is well-developed and even the poorest people own smartphones.

Poor people outside of Japan don't have anything to eat tomorrow, let alone own a smartphone.

Don't you think it's time to live on your own?

For many years now, the phrase “self-centered” has started to be used.

It depends on the age, so there is no right way to say which one is correct.

There are also many people who want to live independently but don't know what to do.

The reason I'm writing this article is because the situation on SNS is changing.

My main job is digital, so I'll check it out.

The number of bad buttons on Youtube has been disappearing for many years, but Twitter (X) also continues to change its specifications, and it seems that Elon Musk is trying to hide the number of ``replies, reposts, and likes.'' is

People who have not been self-centered and have relied on information from other people's social media to maintain themselves will be very troubled if the number of ``replies, reposts, and likes'' is not displayed, which is the standard for evaluating whether it is good or bad. think

This is because you don't know if the content is good or if it's being evaluated.

Up until now, if I looked at the numbers and there were a lot, I would think, ``That's right,'' and be taken advantage of, but it's becoming less and less like that.

I listed Twitter (X) because it is easy to understand, but the same is true for other media, and the number of platforms and specifications changing that do not focus solely on numbers is increasing.

The level where there is a stealth marketing law

Also, as those who are involved in affiliate marketing probably know, the Steal Marketing Control Law has also been implemented.

If it's true, I'd say influencers are better, but in the end, if you decide for yourself, it shouldn't matter whether it's an advertisement or a project, but you have to present it in a way that the sender can understand.

I think it means that there are many people who cannot decide based on their own standards.

I'm sorry to say this, but in the Kansai region, I think it's on the same level as, "Hon, if that person dies, you'll die too!"

I'm tired of thinking so much for myself and living my life worrying only about what's going on around me, leaving behind what's going on with me.

I think there are many people who only care about others.

If you don't realize it in the end

As with SNS, when something happens where numbers are hidden, the question is, "So, what about you?"

You will have to decide for yourself whether you felt it was okay to see the tweet (post) or whether you spread it because you wanted to spread the word.

Times are rapidly changing and values are also rapidly shifting.

Even data from marriage consultation agencies seems to place more emphasis on values, such as what people value in life, rather than how much they earn.

I think it's okay because you're the kind of person who reads this article about self-centeredness, but people who live only by what others think and don't value themselves lose their charm.

AI is evolving rapidly and digital evolution is progressing rapidly.

People who are able to create something appropriate based on certain numbers are losing their place.

We are now in an era where even ratings and reviews can be written by AI.

Eventually, even that may be treated as something questionable or worthless, or it may be hidden.

In times like these, if you don't look for a way of life that focuses on "how you feel," you'll end up on the street.

It's natural to be different from others

I think we are rapidly moving into an era where we respect those differences.

We live in a time where I'm red and you're blue, both are good.

I'm red, what about you? When asked, you say red, so maybe I'm red too.

Don't be like that

I think it's a good idea to focus on whether you're happy or not, and not be influenced by evaluations or public appearances.

I think that ultimately leads to ``valuing yourself.''

There was a topic like this in our time, and I wanted to keep a record of how I felt and how I communicated it, so I'm going to upload it as a blog article.

If I feel like it, I might make it a little more detailed and write an e-mail newsletter, but I don't know.

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